Let me tell you about the time I spent an hour wrestling a stubborn maple branch instead of asking for help. The sap ruined my shirt, but the lesson was priceless: Sometimes the obvious path isn’t the right one, and sometimes the right path is one nobody else sees. This post isn’t about doing more or working harder. It’s about seeing the world differently, using unexpected stories—from lumberjacks to hotel baristas—to find smarter ways forward. Expect detours and maybe a bagel or two.
Worldviews and Bagels: How Your Mindset Shapes Everything
1. Do You See the Bagel or the Line?
Ever notice how two people can look at the same situation and see something totally different? One spots a chance. The other, a roadblock. It’s almost like a weird optical illusion—except it’s your mindset, not your eyes, playing tricks.
Let me paint a picture. You finish a run in Central Park. There’s a table stacked with free bagels. But there’s also a long line. Your friend sees the line and sighs, “Too long.” You? You see the bagels. Free bagels. The only thing between you and breakfast is a little creative thinking.
2. Two Runners, One Bagel: Abundance or Obstacle?
- Runner A: Sees the bagels. Walks up, politely reaches between two people, grabs a bagel. No one minds. No rules broken.
- Runner B: Sees the line. Decides it’s not worth it. Walks away hungry.
This tiny moment? It’s a metaphor for so much more. Some people see opportunities; others see obstacles.
3. Breaking the Rules—Without Blocking Others
Here’s the trick: you can go after what you want, as long as you don’t stop anyone else from doing the same. That’s not just bagel etiquette. It’s a life lesson.
“You don’t have to do it the way everybody else has done it. You can do it your way.”
Creative solutions beat blind conformity, every time.
4. Mindset in Micro-Moments
The bagel scenario? It’s not just about breakfast. It’s about how you approach problems—big or small. Do you focus on the thing you want, or the thing in your way? That split-second choice shapes your day, your career, your life.
5. The Sharp Axe Approach: Long-Term vs. Daily Grind
Let’s switch gears. Imagine two lumberjacks. Both start and finish work at the same time. But one disappears for an hour each day. Odd, right? Yet, he chops more wood. Why? He spends that hour sharpening his axe.
- Daily grind: Chop, chop, chop. No pause. Burn out fast.
- Long-term thinking: Step back. Sharpen your tools. Outperform in the long run.
That’s the infinite mindset. Not just how much you get done today, but what you can achieve over a lifetime.
6. Personal Tangent: Walking Around the Problem
Ever try solving a problem by literally walking around it? I have. Sometimes, the answer isn’t straight ahead. You have to circle it, look from a new angle. Maybe even break your own rules.
Sharpening Your Axe: The Subtle Skill of Pausing
The Lumberjack Parable: Results Over Busyness
Ever heard the story of the two lumberjacks? Every morning, both start chopping wood at the same time. Every evening, they finish together. But here’s the twist: one of them disappears for about an hour in the middle of each day. Odd, right? Yet, day after day, month after month, the one who takes that mysterious break always chops more wood.
Curiosity finally gets the better of the other lumberjack. He asks, “Where do you go for that hour?” The answer? “I go home and sharpen my axe.” Simple. Obvious. But how many of us forget to do the same in our own lives?
Why Stepping Back Matters (Even When It Feels Wrong)
- Career (and life) longevity means knowing when to step back. You can’t sprint forever.
- Work-life balance isn’t just about taking a vacation. It’s about fully unplugging—no emails, no calls, no “just checking in.”
- Pausing is scary. What if you fall behind? What if someone else gets ahead? But ask yourself: what if you never sharpen your axe?
Imagine This: Pro Athletes Who Never Rest
Picture a pro athlete who never takes a break. No rest days, no recovery. How long would they last? Not long. Muscles break down. Focus slips. Performance tanks. It’s the same for you. If you never pause to recharge, your edge dulls. Fast.
The Real Edge: Rest, Reflection, and Renewal
- Rest isn’t laziness. It’s maintenance.
- Reflection lets you spot what’s working—and what’s not.
- Renewal is how you come back stronger, not just back.
Axe sharpening is a metaphor, sure. But it’s also a call to action. You need to build in time to rest, to learn, to think. That’s how you last.
Personal Note: The ‘Email Detox’ That Reset My Ambition
I once tried a real vacation. No email. No notifications. No peeking at Slack. The first day? Agony. The second? Oddly peaceful. By the end, I felt like I’d rediscovered my ambition. My mind was sharper. My ideas, fresher. It was almost embarrassing how much I’d needed that break.
“It’s not about how much you can get done each day, it’s how much you can get done over the course of a career, over the course of a lifetime.”
Sharpening Your Own Axe: What It Looks Like
- Take real breaks. Not just lunch at your desk.
- Unplug fully—sometimes for a day, sometimes for a week.
- Reflect on what’s working. Adjust.
- Don’t fear the pause. Fear the burnout.
Help the Person Next to You: The Unexpected Superpower
What Makes Someone Elite? (Hint: It’s Not Muscles)
You might think the toughest, most tattooed, or fastest people make it through Navy SEAL training. But that’s not true. The real secret? It’s the ones who help others, even when they’re completely spent. One SEAL put it simply: the people who survive aren’t the solo stars or the loud leaders. Sometimes, they’re skinny, shivering, or scared. But they always find a way to help the person next to them.
“You better get really good at helping the person to the left of you and helping the person to the right of you, because that’s how people advance in the world.”
Collaboration Beats Competition—Especially When You’re Exhausted
When you’re at your limit, it’s easy to focus inward. But the ones who reach out—who support the team—are the ones who go furthest. In high-stress environments, helping others isn’t just nice. It’s a measurable advantage.
- Elite teams aren’t made of lone wolves. They’re built on people who lift each other up.
- Leadership isn’t about proving you’re the strongest. It’s about building strength together.
Stories from the Field: Who Actually Succeeds?
The SEALs say it straight: the ones who make it aren’t always who you’d expect. It’s not the college athletes or the natural-born leaders. It’s the ones who, when they have nothing left, still find a way to help. That’s the real test.
Why Asking for Help Feels Hard (and Why You Should Do It Anyway)
Let’s be honest. Asking for help can feel like admitting defeat. Maybe you think you should have it all together. But here’s the thing: when you finally say, “I’m stuck,” you’ll be surprised by how many people want to help. They just didn’t think you needed it.
Try it. Next time you’re overwhelmed, ask for help. Watch how your world expands. You’ll see support you never noticed before.
“It’ll be the single most valuable thing you ever learn in your entire life to accept help when it’s offered and to ask for it when you know that you can’t do it.”
Simple Practice: Make Helping a Habit
- Offer help, even when you’re tired.
- Ask for help, even if it feels awkward.
- Notice how your connections deepen.
It’s not about being the hero. It’s about building a team that lasts.
Table: What Sets Elite Teams Apart?
| Key Factor | Insight |
|---|---|
| Navy SEALs | Physical exhaustion and emotional fatigue are test points; support for teammates is key to passing. |
| Leadership | Correlated to helping behavior, not just individual capability. |
Be the Last to Speak: Leadership Lessons From Boardrooms and Tribal Chiefs
What Mandela Learned in the Circle
Ever wonder how some leaders just seem to command respect, even before they say a word? Nelson Mandela was one of those people. But he wasn’t born with that magic. He learned it, sitting quietly at his father’s side. Mandela’s father was a tribal chief. At meetings, the elders would always sit in a circle. And the chief? He spoke last.
Mandela once said he remembered two things from those gatherings: the circle, and his father’s patience. He watched his father listen, really listen, to every voice before sharing his own. That’s not just polite. It’s powerful.
Why Waiting to Speak Is Harder Than You Think
Let’s be honest. Most of us want to jump in. You have an idea, you want it out there. Maybe you’re worried someone else will say it first. Or maybe you just want to look smart. But here’s the catch: when you speak first, you shape the conversation. And not always for the better.
In boardrooms, it’s a classic blunder. The leader opens with their opinion, then asks for input. But it’s too late. People hold back. Ideas shrink. You lose the diversity of thought that makes teams strong.
What Really Happens When You Hold Back
- People feel heard. When you wait, others open up.
- Better ideas surface. You get to hear everything before making up your mind.
- You gain respect. Not just for your title, but for your discipline.
It’s not just about hearing words. It’s about understanding where they come from. Why does someone feel that way? What’s behind their opinion?
Practical Steps: How to Be the Last to Speak
- Don’t nod in agreement. Don’t shake your head in disagreement. Just listen.
- Ask questions. Not to challenge, but to understand.
- Wait until everyone has spoken before you share your thoughts.
Sounds simple, right? It’s not. It takes practice. You’ll catch yourself wanting to jump in. Hold back. Let the silence stretch a little.
“You need to learn to be the last to speak.”
Questions: Your New Best Friend
Try this: next time you’re in a meeting, ask more than you answer. Dig deeper. “Can you tell me more about why you think that?” or “What led you to that conclusion?” You might be surprised at what you learn.
Personal Note: The Meeting That Changed Everything
I used to be the first to talk. I thought it showed confidence. One day, I decided to try Mandela’s way. I waited. I asked questions. The room felt different. People opened up. The ideas were better. I realized I’d been missing out, just because I couldn’t keep quiet.
Leadership in Action: The Data
| Scenario | Insight |
|---|---|
| Observed corporate meetings | Early leader opinion = reduced diversity of ideas. |
| Mandela anecdote | Universal leadership respect rooted in listening. |
Sometimes You’re the Problem: The Humble Power of Accountability
History’s Hard Lesson: The Tragedy of Childbed Fever
Ever heard of “childbed fever”? It sounds old-fashioned, but its lesson is painfully modern. Back in the 18th and 19th centuries, hospitals across Europe and America faced a terrifying crisis. Women would give birth—then die within 48 hours. In some hospitals, the death rate soared to 70%. Imagine that. Science was on the rise, but something obvious was being missed.
Doctors, the very people trusted to heal, were unknowingly spreading the disease. They’d perform autopsies in the morning, then deliver babies in the afternoon—without washing their hands. It took Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes to point out the connection. He said, bluntly: “You’re the problem.” But for 30 years, his warning was ignored. Only when handwashing became standard did the deaths finally stop.
Humility in Real Life: Seeing What’s Right in Front of You
Why did it take so long? Pride. Ego. The refusal to accept that sometimes, you are the problem. It’s uncomfortable, isn’t it? But accountability—real, honest accountability—is the only way forward.
- Take credit for your wins.
- Own your mistakes, too.
You can’t have one without the other. Growth demands both. It’s a balance, not a buffet.
The Four Seasons vs. Caesar’s Palace: Leadership in Action
Let’s fast-forward to something more relatable. Picture two hotels in Las Vegas: the Four Seasons and Caesar’s Palace. Both have beds, coffee, and guests. But the experience? Worlds apart.
At the Four Seasons, you meet people like Noah, a barista who loves his job. Why? Because managers—any manager—will ask how he’s doing, what he needs, and genuinely care. Noah says, “I feel I can be myself.” Contrast that with Caesar’s Palace, where managers focus on catching mistakes. Noah admits, “I keep my head down and just get through the day.”
“If we create the right environment, we will get people like Noah at the Four Seasons.”
It’s not about the people. It’s about the environment you create. Good leaders build good teams. Bad environments make even the best people hide.
The Barista Test: Shine or Hide?
Ask yourself: Are your people hiding, or are they shining? The answer says more about your leadership than about them.
Personal Tangent: The Power of a Simple Apology
Let’s be real. Sometimes, you mess up. I remember a time when a simple, genuine apology changed everything. It wasn’t easy. My pride wanted to fight it. But the moment I owned my mistake, the tension vanished. People respect honesty. They remember when you step up and say, “That was on me.”
Accountability isn’t just about blame—it’s about trust. And trust, once built, is the foundation of any lasting career or life.
The Ceramic Cup and the Styrofoam Cup: A Lesson in Humility and Status
The Coffee Cup Prescription for Ego
Ever noticed how a simple coffee cup can say more about your place in the world than any fancy title? Let’s talk about a story that’s stuck with me. Picture this: a former Under Secretary of Defense stands on stage, coffee in hand. But not just any coffee—this time, it’s in a plain styrofoam cup. Last year, he was here too, but everything was different. He had a ceramic cup then. Business class flights, someone waiting at the airport, a hotel room ready before he even arrived. This year? Coach seat, taxi rides, checking himself in, and pouring his own coffee from a machine in the corner.
“The ceramic cup was never meant for me. It was meant for the position I held. I deserve a styrofoam cup.”
Privilege: Position, Not Person
It’s easy to forget: privilege is about the chair you sit in, not the person you are. The ceramic cup wasn’t a reward for being special. It was just part of the package deal that came with the job. When the title goes, so do the perks.
- Doors held open? That’s for the badge, not the heartbeat.
- Coffee delivered to your hand? That’s for the office, not your soul.
- Business class? It’s for the role, not your worth.
It’s a bit unsettling, right? But also freeing. You’re not your perks.
Check the Cup: A Reality Check as You Climb
As you move up—get promotions, recognition, maybe even a little fame—remember this: the cup can change. One day it’s ceramic, the next it’s styrofoam. The real you is the one who pours your own coffee, not the one who gets served.
Want a quick gut check? Next time you’re handed something fancy, ask yourself: is this for me, or for my position? Sometimes, the answer stings.
Staying Grounded When the Perks Roll In
- Notice the perks. Don’t let them go to your head.
- Thank the people, not the process. The driver, the assistant, the person who brings the coffee—they’re the real MVPs.
- Remember the styrofoam cup. It’s humbling, but it keeps you real.
Wild Card: The Cardboard Business Card Test
Imagine if every business card in the world was secretly made of cardboard, no matter the title. CEO? Cardboard. Intern? Cardboard. Would you act differently? Would you treat people the same? It’s a silly thought, but it makes you wonder—what if all the status symbols were just props?
The Day I Realized My ‘Ceramic Cup’ Was a Fluke
I’ll admit, I’ve had my own “ceramic cup” moments. Times when I thought the perks were for me. Turns out, they weren’t. They were for the seat I happened to fill. The day that changed, I felt a little lost. But also, strangely, more myself.
So next time you’re handed a fancy cup, maybe pause. Smile. And remember: you’re still you, no matter what you’re holding.
Conclusion: Chop Less, Sharpen More – Living the Infinite Game
A Patchwork of Practical Wisdom
You’ve seen it: bagels, axes, boards, and coffee cups. Odd mix? Maybe. But each one holds a lesson that sticks. Imagine your life as a patchwork quilt—every story, every weird detour, stitched together. That’s where the real wisdom lives.
- Bagels: Do you see the free bagel, or just the long line? Some people focus on what they want. Others only see what’s in the way. Which one are you, honestly?
- Axes: The lumberjack who chops all day gets less done than the one who pauses to sharpen his axe. Sometimes, stepping back is the smartest move. Sharpening beats endless chopping, every time.
- Boards: Think of boardrooms and leadership circles. The best leaders? They’re the last to speak. They listen, ask questions, and let others shine before sharing their own thoughts.
- Coffee Cups: The difference between a ceramic mug and a styrofoam cup? It’s not about you—it’s about the role you play. Stay humble, even when you’re handed the fancy cup.
The Infinite Game: Why Thinking Beyond Today Matters
Most people play the short game—how much can I get done today? But what if you focused on the long run? The “infinite game” means you’re not just chasing quick wins. You’re building something that lasts. It’s about progress over perfection, and learning to take real breaks (yes, turn off your email sometimes).
Leave Room for Humanity
Let’s be honest: life isn’t a straight line. It’s messy. There are weird moments, awkward pauses, and unexpected turns. That’s where growth happens. Ask questions. Don’t just tell people what you think. Sometimes, you’re the problem—and that’s okay, as long as you own it.
Try practicing humanity in small ways:
- Break the line (nicely): Reach for the bagel, even if it means stepping out of the queue. Just don’t block anyone else.
- Be last to speak: In your next meeting, hold your opinion. Listen first. You might be surprised what you learn.
Encouragement for Your Next Step
You don’t have to follow the script. Experiment. Try a tactic from these stories in your own life. Maybe you’ll find a new way to lead, or a better way to rest. Or maybe you’ll just get a free bagel.
Wild Card: Lumberjack or Barista?
Here’s a fun one: If you could cast yourself as either a lumberjack or a barista for a month, who would you pick? Would you rather sharpen your axe in the woods, or serve up joy (and caffeine) behind the counter?
There’s no right answer—just a chance to imagine a different rhythm, a new perspective. Sometimes, that’s all it takes to sharpen your own edge.
FAQ: Putting These Lessons Into Practice
1. Should I really skip the line? How do I know when it’s okay?
You might wonder if it’s ever right to skip the line—literally or metaphorically. The truth? Sometimes, yes. If you see a creative, respectful way to get what you want without blocking others, go for it. Think of the Central Park bagel story: one person saw only the line, another saw the bagel. The lesson? Don’t let invisible rules stop you from reaching for opportunities. But always check: Are you being fair? Are you hurting anyone? If not, maybe it’s time to step forward.
2. What’s the best way to ask for help at work?
It’s not always easy, is it? Asking for help can feel like admitting weakness. But here’s the twist: it’s actually a sign of strength. Navy SEALs, the best of the best, succeed not by going it alone but by supporting each other. Try this:
- Be honest about what you need.
- Offer help to others first—build trust.
- Don’t wait until you’re desperate. Ask early.
You’ll be surprised how many people are willing to step up—if you let them.
3. How can I build a habit of listening before speaking?
It’s tough, especially when you have strong opinions. Nelson Mandela learned to be “the last to speak.” You can, too. Here’s a trick: when you’re in a meeting, count to five before responding. Listen, really listen, to everyone else. No nodding, no frowning, just absorbing. Over time, you’ll notice people open up more—and your own ideas get sharper.
4. What can I do if I realize I’m the problem?
Oof. That’s a hard one. But recognizing it is the first step. Remember the doctors who ignored handwashing? Change only happened when someone took responsibility. If you spot your own mistakes, own them. Apologize. Fix what you can. Accountability isn’t about blame—it’s about progress. And hey, everyone messes up. It’s what you do next that matters.
5. How can bosses create Four Seasons vibes instead of Caesar’s Palace ones?
It’s not about the perks. It’s about how you treat people. At the Four Seasons, staff feel trusted and cared for. At Caesar’s Palace, not so much. If you’re a boss, ask yourself: Do my people feel safe to be themselves? Do you support them, or just manage them? The difference is huge. When you care more about your team than the numbers, they’ll go the extra mile—because they want to, not because they have to.
6. What’s the most important ‘axe’ I can sharpen right now?
Honestly? Your mindset. Are you chasing quick wins, or building something that lasts? Sometimes, the best thing you can do is step back, rest, and reflect. Like the lumberjack who disappeared to sharpen his axe, you need to invest in yourself—learn, recharge, grow. It might feel like you’re falling behind, but in the long run, you’ll cut more wood than anyone else.
Conclusion
Building a life and career that lasts isn’t about following every rule or hustling nonstop. It’s about seeing opportunity, supporting others, listening deeply, owning your mistakes, and leading with empathy. And above all, it’s about remembering that you deserve to love what you do—and to help others feel the same. Sharpen your axe. The rest will follow.
TL;DR: Don’t wait in line. Sharpen your axe. Ask for help. Listen last. Own your mistakes. The secret to lasting success? Think long-term, help others, and don’t be afraid to grab the bagel—even if you cut the line (nicely).
